This is my last morning as Gandhari the unmarried. This
evening I marry my love; the preparation has been going on for weeks, if only I
would have gotten to help plan my own wedding. I am not even sure where the
wedding will take place. I will be brought there by chariot when it is time for
me to walk down the aisle. The wedding is one of the most important days of our lives. It could last for days…I hope not. I just want to be with my love in our new
home.
I haven’t seen my beloved Dhitarashtra in days, and I am
troubled he will change his mind before the ceremony. I am supposed to spend a
majority of the day meditating in the garden, but no one has come to take me
there. Maybe I should just head there
myself? Then the thought pours out of my mouth, as if I have no filter…”What if
he changed his mind!” Wouldn't I know by now?…surely I would have gotten
some hint of trouble at breakfast. No one around here can keep a secret.
After several hours, a servant finally comes to accompany me to the garden. Its a place I normally go on my own. I guess today calls for special circumstances. I picked up my journal, and as I walked by the mirror I stopped to drink myself
in. A deep breath and I was out the door. I wish the servant would have given me some sort of news. I just wish I knew when we were leaving.
 |
| (Meditation Garden; Wiki) |
Down the spiral staircase, and out through the courtyard it's
going to be so weird not making that journey ever again. We have now reached the
meditation garden; I give the servant a nod to thank her for her company. I
often come here to write in my journal; there is something therapeutic about
putting pen to paper. Most people come and just sit with their thoughts or try
to clear them completely. I write. This journal contains my deepest thoughts,
although it’s a little worn…It's my second and is almost full. I have even planned out my dream wedding in
this thing, but its not like any one knows that. I wrote that entry long before
I met Dhitarashtra. Then my thoughts stray to him and what he is doing at this
exact moment. Is he meditating as well? I wish I could be holding his hand right now. I hope that (as we enjoy breakfast together tomorrow) I can paint
him a picture with words of what our newly decorated home looks like. I also plan to
describe the colors of our wedding to him. With all these wedding secrets being
kept from me, I have one of my own. I plan to cover my eyes, so I two will be
blinded. In my case, blind by love.
Author's Note: I wanted
to do a storytelling post based on Gandhari's feelings about her wedding. I
wanted to document the moments leading up to her wedding. You always hear about
pre-wedding jitters or “cold feet.” I figured she would feel the same
thing. I wanted her to question whether
or not he would be there waiting for her when it was time to walk down the aisle. Marriage is a big commitment and I think anyone who decides to take that
leap has a moment of doubt. Also every bride wants to document her wedding day,
and what better way then in a reflective journal entry?I also wanted to showcase her
love for her new husband and highlight the fact that she covered her eyes. I thought there was something beautiful about
the way she did that in the original story. Plus I love a good love story and this let me
try my hand at writing my own. It was fun to think about what if someone else
planned your wedding and you were just a participant. I don’t think I would
like that…but it would take away a lot of the stress. Adapted from the
story Narayan, R. K. (1978). The Mahabharata.
Hi Shelly, I like that you decided to do this as a journal entry. I felt like it made everything much more personal. Overall, I think that you did a great job. If I had to make one suggestion it would be to add where in the original that this part of the story occurs within your author’s note. It is just helpful for people who have read ahead and cannot remember.
ReplyDeleteShelly, I think that deciding to go a journal entry for this story was a good move. To me, it makes everything feel more personal. I really enjoyed your story and you definitely showcased the natural pre-marriage jitters that many people, man or woman, face. You should put a date on the journal entry! I know it would be probably hard to guesstimate, but it would be fun to see.
ReplyDeleteHi Shelly! I enjoyed reading this story, especially since wedding season is coming up. I liked reading about Ganhari’s thoughts and feelings about the upcoming events and how she feels about her small role in the planning. It was written in a very realistic and relatable way, and I found myself sympathizing with Ganhari’s anxieties and fears. The addition of her journal was also great. I agree that documenting important events like marriages is important, and I like how Ganhari did so with her journal. I noticed only a few minor errors as I read. In the first paragraph, I noticed that walking down the “isle” should be “aisle” instead. I was also confused by the change in font throughout the story. I wondered if they were noting her thoughts, but the entire story is written in first-person narrative so that would not have mattered. Maybe italicize the sections if they are meant to be distinct, or have the font match throughout the story. Overall, this was an enjoyable read!
ReplyDeleteShelly,
ReplyDeleteI felt very relaxed throughout your story. Perhaps it was the garden scene that caused this. I like how you added Gandhari’s thoughts about what her future husband was thinking/doing during her meditation. That is definitely something I would wonder on my wedding day…or during the bachelor’s party…
I couldn’t tell if you meant to have different font sizes throughout your story. I noticed that a few of your paragraphs had a smaller size at the end, but it didn’t seem like the writing style was different (as if a character was speaking in their own head or something). Also, a suggestion I have is to increase the font size in your author’s note. It is pretty small and I could see how some people might have difficulty reading it.
One other suggestion I have is to summarize the original story in your author’s note. If you section that off separately from your explanation of why you wrote the story how you did, I think that would help the flow through the author’s note.
Hi, Shelly! It's so interesting that you chose to write a story from Ghandari's perspective. She is not one of the major characters in the Mahabharata, so we don't really get to read a lot about her, which made your story all the more intriguing! I like that you explored Ghandari's thoughts and emotions regarding her blind husband so deeply. It was fun to read your idea of what that relationship is like on a deeper plane. In your story, it's clear that she really loves Dhitarashtra, so much so that she blinds herself for him. I like that you made that her own decision. That was a very nice detail. You added a lot of different levels to her character in the way you developed her thoughts on her wedding as well as her journaling history. Great story, Shelly! I think it's a very good addition to your portfolio.
ReplyDeleteHi Shelly,
ReplyDeleteThis was a beautiful story. You did a phenomenal job at describing Gandhari's concerns. I thought the topic was very unique since there isn't much focus on Gandhari's character in the book. There weren't any obvious grammatical errors. You developed Gandhari's character really well by describing her concerns. The story had a very calm tone to it, I loved it! Great work, Shelly.