Early one morning Hanuman was preparing for his journey to
find Sita. He had just left the court of Sugriva. As he went over his plan he knew he would have to cross the
sea. They had word that Sita had been
taken to Lanka after the evil Ravana abducted her. How was he to cross the
ocean? The sooner he could get there the better. All of a sudden Hanuman got
an idea. He could shape-shift, but into what?
He knew he was strongest when he shape-shifted into a larger version of
himself… but what fun was that?
Hanuman's closest friends dropped him off at the coast and of
course Rama was there to see him off on his journey. Rama handed him a ring as
they were saying goodbye. Rama explained that once Hanuman had found Sita, he
should present her with this ring so that she would know it was safe to travel
with him.
 |
| (The Ocean leading to Lanka: Pixabay) |
As his friends left, Hanuman took a moment to himself and
drew in a deep breath to clear his head. He knew this might be a tough battle across the sea. He then shape-shifted
into a giant version of himself and entered the water. The waters were rough and the wind was wild.
There were times when he was ready to give up and head home. There was also a
moment when he was ready to just give up then and there and let the sea swallow
him up. The sun was blazing and he was worn out but when he lifted his head, he
could see land in the distance. He swam
with all that he had and reached land.
He then shape-shifted back to normal size, which luckily restored his
energy.
He then started his search for Sita. After what seemed like
forever, he found the Ashoka Vana pleasure garden. He entered and there she was,
being guarded by demons. As Hanuman approached Sita, he noticed she was covered
in dust. He held out his hand containing Rama’s ring. Sita looked up and with
surprise and relief in her eyes she took the ring and replaced it with her own
piece of jewelry, which let Hanuman know she trusted him. He made himself a
giant again and destroyed Ashoka Vana.
Once he knew Sita was safe and hidden, he made himself really small and
let Ravana’s son capture him. He knew that way he would be taken straight to
Ravana himself. After a debate and a struggle, Ravana set Hanuman's tail on fire; after a shape-shift Hanuman used his giant
tail to set Lanka on fire. Hanuman
collected Sita and set out to return her to Rama. It
was a long journey back; it took two whole days to return home. He kept a
watchful eye on Sita; he didn’t want her to fall ill or be injured before he could
bring her safely to Rama. Once they returned, both Hanuman and Sita were
exhausted. Before they entered the city, they decided to stop and rest. Word had
already made it to Rama and he was waiting to see the beautiful Sita.
Author's Note:I chose to tell Hanuman’s side of the story through third person style. Since this part of the story is told in the book, I thought it would be interesting to make my own additions to the overall story. I wanted to pinpoint what Hanuman was going through when given such a large task. He not only had to cross the ocean but he had to save Sita from Ravana and return her to Rama. I made this a major change to the story to add a twist. I believe Hanuman's character is strong enough to be the one that brought Sita home. The lack of dialog between Sita and Hanuman was meant to keep those guarding Sita out of the loop regarding his plan to rescue Sita.What a big feat! Can you imagine how you would feel if you were asked to do so? For the photo I chose, I wanted it to show the length that Hanuman had to travel. To cross the ocean is not an easy task. He had to fight the tide, the wind and who knows what other animals and dangers dwell below the surface. I added a few details and changes from the original story to give this tale its own spin in hopes it could live separately from the book, or be an addition/adaption to keep the story going. I wanted to keep the dialog in the story to a minimum because he is alone on the journey for some time. This story is based off of The Ramayana by Narayan, R. K. (1972).
Hey Shelly!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you chose the picture of the sea going to Lanka, mainly because I am vacationing in Sri Lanka in May, and am excited to see the beautiful sea! I think your story was good, but it was really simple. I think that some kind of dialogue could add a whole new color to this story, and make it a little more interesting. Overall, good job!
Hi Shelly,
ReplyDeleteInteresting take on the story! I would not have thought to do this episode, but I really like the way you expanded on it so much and really made it your own! Great writing skills focusing in on how the main character felt and showing his struggles crossing the ocean. It made him seem like a much more realistic person and made relating to him very easy.
I like your writing style and the fact that the story is told through Hanuman, my favorite main character in Narayan's Ramayana. I would expect him to have an interesting take on any of the stories.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that doesn't throw me off, having read Narayan's Ramayana, but that might throw off other readers who haven't, is that there is no established setting and the story picks up in the middle of another story. This is fine, but a brief synopsis of important events leading up to this story would help support this story and help the reader understand the reasons for Hanuman's actions and Sita's situation.
Phrases like "all of the sudden" are a bit commonplace and could easily be replaced with a more descriptive phrase, or removed completely. "His closest friends dropped off Hanuman" -- should be, "Hanuman's closest friends dropped him off".
Everything was very much like the story, and your version could become more your own if you add in some details that aren't included in the original story, some real descriptions that give the reader a vision or feeling that aids in reading immersion. Hanuman's struggle with the ocean gave me a taste of Hanuman's feelings, but I was curious about how he felt and what exactly he saw in Lanka or at least Ashoka Vana. Like what were the demon guards doing? What was Sita's expression like? But I can always appreciate what's left up to the imagination ;)
Hi Shelly,
ReplyDeleteThis was a great story. It was very well written and I enjoyed the changes that you have made.
I agree with Morgan in her previous post, it might be difficult for someone who is unfamiliar with The Ramayana to understand the purpose for Hanuman making this journey across the sea to Lanka. Inserting a paragraph to introduce the events that have lead up to this story will make it easier for the reader to understand the full story.The paragraph spacing looks great and makes it easy for the reader to follow the story.
I actually wrote a storytelling post about Hanuman meeting Sita in the garden. I chose to make it from her perspective, but I really like what you have done to tell Hanuman's journey from a similar perspective as the book. I really wanted to end mine with Hanuman taking off with Sita, so I am glad that you took the element of Hanuman burning Lanka and using it to completely destroy the island while also rescuing Sita.
Shelly,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your first portfolio story. I loved that you used Hanuman's point of view. I thought his character in the original was very interesting. I also liked that you had him saving Sita and bringing her back to Rama after burning down Lanka. I thought that was a great change for your retelling. The picture you included was perfect for the story.
Your story is well written and it flows very well. Like Kaylee and Morgan said above, it may be helpful to add just a little at the beginning to set the scene for anyone who hasn't read the original epic.
I didn't notice any grammar issues in your story but there were two small punctuation errors that caught my attention in the paragraph directly beneath the picture. First, there should be a comma after "As his friends left" at the beginning of the paragraph. Then in that same paragraph, I don't think you need the comma in "There were times when he was ready to give up, and head home".
You did a great job with this story and it's a great start to your portfolio. I look forward to reading more of your stories throughout the semester.
Shelly, the layout of your blog looks great. It is very clean and easy to read and maneuver. I also liked the picture that you chose for this story. It was realistic, but the way the clouds were warped gave it a mystical feel. I think it was a great choice for the picture to represent the ocean that Hanuman had to cross. If there was one suggestion it would be to not center everything. The centering of paragraphs is not bad or even that distracting, but I think it would make it easier on the reader to read. Also, the last paragraph of the story has two different font sizes. I would just fix that because it really is an eye sore, especially the smaller size—it is a little hard to read.
ReplyDeleteSomething that I found was that the third sentence, “They had word that Sita had been taken to Lanka after the evil Ravana abducted her,” seems to have a word missing or the misuse of a word—heard instead of had maybe. Overall, I think you did a great job with this story. I would just recommend proofreading it aloud to make sure that all those little mistakes are dealt with.
Hi Shelly,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this take on your story. While reading the two versions of the Ramayana, for class, I found myself wondering why Hanuman didn't just take Sita back with him across the ocean. Yes, I understand that it's Rama's whole destiny to destroy Ravana, but why can't Sita be rescued and removed from harms way in the mean time? You successfully addressed this, and I really enjoyed your added twist on the story. I like how your composed the tale in a way where there is just enough detail for the plot, but didn't overdo the information overall. I typically do that and I could really learn from your writing skill. As some other people have mentioned, there is a slight difference in font size toward the end of your story, but that is certainly a quick fix. I think that the image you picked was excellent in giving the reader a visual on how long the journey really was for Hanuman. Perhaps a suggestion I can make is also adding a picture of Sita and Hanuman in the Ashoka Vona garden? I feel that this would really give your readers and idea of Sita and Hanuman, and make the journey back for them easier to see in their minds. Great job overall!
Hi Shelly,
ReplyDeleteI liked that you chose to do a story about Hanuman's journey to find Sita. Hanuman was one of my favorite characters because he was just so kind and loyal. I'm glad that you wrote him as a more happy and playful character and that this quest is fun for him. I also really love the picture you chose, I feel that because of the supernatural look of the clouds and ocean this could be the place that would lead to the beautiful city of Lanka! Also, I understand that you had to keep the dialogue to a minimum because he is a quest by himself, but I would have loved to have read some more internal thoughts from Hanuman. At the end your font in the last three sentences does not match the font that the rest of your story is in. Overall, great story and I look forward to reading more!
Upon taking a first glance at the structure of your story, everything looks good. The theme works well so that the story is easy to read with the font and background. Also, the link in your picture works perfectly well.
ReplyDeleteIn your third paragraph I believe that you have a run on sentence. It would fall between “The sun was blazing and he was worn out” and “But when he lifted his head”.
I do kind of wish that you had expanded on the emotions of Hanuman once he had found Sita, to show that he felt that the trip had been a successful one.
Also, I realized that in the last paragraph, the font changes in the middle of it, so I would go back and fix that.
Other than that, your author’s note looks good, and I believe that you expanded pretty well on the story. I like that you even included why you chose the photo you did. Good job!
Hey Shelly,
ReplyDeleteWhat I love about your story is how much detail and information you pack into such a short story all while making it interesting and captivating! Your picture is placed perfectly. I do not usually discuss pictures in a storytelling or portfolio’s, but I must make an exception. You placed it in the perfect spot to break up your story. Hanuman meets with Rama and knows that he has to go on a journey and your picture breaks up the idea that he has to go and when he actually goes. It is a great transition technique. If he wanted to give up, what was it that caused him to continue on? I felt like there was a “but” needed there. I am a little bit confused in your last paragraph. So after a giant argument Hanuman’s tail was set on fire, and then after what did he shape-shift and use his giant tail to set something on fire? Overall, I loved the story. It was short, sweet, and concise.
Shelly,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I really enjoy the background you chose for your page – it is very warm and suitable for a blog. Also, I think that the title of “ThinkSpace” is fitting. What better place to write, think and analyze then a ThinkSpace. So the comments I will leave are in response to your post titled “Hanuman’s Journey to Sita.” I think that expanding upon events in your story, like how Hanuman came about finding the pleasure garden, would add some needed depth to your storyline. It seems a bit ‘shallow’ to read that Hanuman found the garden. However, I did appreciate how you shared the experiences of Hanuman. The Ramayana was written such that many characters were ‘shallow’ and you have improved this in your story. I really enjoy the photo you chose and how the illustration creates a perception of a near impossible coming task. Overall, I thought you did a good job.
Hey Shelly, I really enjoyed reading your story about Hanuman. Hanuman is one of my favorite characters in the Ramayana, so reading your story was extra enjoyable for me. I like that you are writing this story from Hanuman’s point of view. Your story had many similarities from the Ramayana as well as many differences that were great assets to this story. The imagery you used is fantastic and it helped me to picture the places Hanuman was traveling to and what all he was encountering. I liked the way you wrote about Hanuman’s shape-shifting experience and how he was almost going to give up his journey in finding Sita. In the Ramayana, Hanuman seems like he is all gung ho the whole time he is on the journey to finding Rama’s love. It is a nice change seeing Hanuman being more realistic about this journey he has to endure. Overall, great job on this story!
ReplyDeleteHi Shelly! I really enjoyed your portfolio story! I liked how you used questions in your first paragraph. I think they work nicely to draw the reader in and to gain interest in your story!
ReplyDeleteI really like the picture that you used to go along with your story! I think it goes with the story wonderfully and it gives the reader a visual of Hanuman’s great feat of crossing the ocean! My only suggestion for your story would be to possibly add dialogue. You did a good job with your detail throughout the story. I just felt as though it was missing dialogue when Hanuman was dropped off on the coast by his friends and when he found Sita. Also, the text in the second half of your last paragraph is smaller than the rest of your text making it slightly hard to read.
Great job on your story and I am looking forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
Shelly, I think you did a great job with this story! I really enjoyed how you told the story of Hanuman from his point of view. I really liked his character, so I enjoyed hearing his story and how he felt while he was going on this mission. The way you wrote the story and developed his character caught my attention and made me interested all the way through.
ReplyDeleteI also like the picture you chose to go with your story. I think it gives a great visual of what Hanuman was crossing on his way to finding Sita. Maybe you could even consider including a picture at the end of Hanuman himself? This could give the reader a great visual for who the main character in this story was. Adding dialogue could make your story come to life and help with character development. I think this would also help with the flow of your story, as well as keeping your readers interested in the story. Also, just check on the text of the paragraph so it is uniform throughout--it kind of threw me off when I got to that paragraph and the font was different. But overall, great job on this story and I look forward to reading more from you!
Shelly, I really like your story of Hanuman’s journey. I have read several different stories about Hanuman’s journey to find Sita and I really enjoyed this one. I think it is really clever and easy to follow. I think that it was very important to point out what exactly Hanuman was going through whenever he was going to find Sita. I think that was one of my favorite parts of your story. It really made your story raw and made you feel for Hanuman. You made a great point that Hanuman had to be a strong character to bring Sita home. I also like all of your twists and everything that you added. Everything you added made your story more interesting and more enjoyable. Overall I think that this is a very good story and really easy to read. I am ready to read more of your stories! Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Shelly!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story! I thought it was a completely different way to tell this part of the story! I think it was easy to follow and very enjoyable! I really liked that you told us what Hanuman was thinking and going through during the story! I agree with you that Hanuman is a strong enough character that he could save Sita! I am glad that you still kept the part of Hanuman burning Lanka down because this was one of my favorite parts!
Hi Shelly!
ReplyDeleteHanuman is my absolute favorite character in the Ramayana so I am really glad that you wrote a story about him! I feel like his crossing the sea is underrated which makes me really happy that you wanted to elaborate on just how HUGE the ocean is! I also agree that Hanuman is such a strong character that he could be the one to bring Sita back to Rama. I’m glad to see that someone else loves the character of Hanuman as much as me! I love that you use the term “shape-shift.” Did that come from the actual Ramayana or did you hear that somewhere? I watched the show Tru Blood and that’s where I’ve heard that term so I wonder if that is where you got it from! If so, awesome because that show rocks! Your story is really well written and easy to understand! I look forward to reading the next one in your portfolio.