Shelly, I read your Week 6 story about Hanuman and crossing the ocean. I loved your take on it! I have enjoyed fleshing out little parts of the story that I found interesting throughout the weeks, and I like that you did it too. I had a few constructive comments I wanted to make however. For one, I thought you took a lot on for a short story. You did a great job at fleshing out Hanuman’s thoughts at the beginning of the story, but I might recommend stopping the story when Hanuman enters Ravana’s domain. Maybe drop it off with a cliff hanger (Hanuman took a deep breath, rejuvenated himself, and entered the city gates…) etc. It was disappointing to end the story with more like a light synopsis than the great detail you provided at the beginning of the story. I really enjoyed this story though and I can’t wait to read more!
Shelly, I know I just commented on your comment wall for your week 6 story but I also wanted to thank you for the kind comments you left on my week 6 story, about Hanuman having a romantic love for Sita. I really enjoyed writing that story. When I read Hanuman's reaction to seeing Sita for the first time, I could not just leave it as a love of friendship. I pictured so much more there than that. Anyways, thanks for the kind words and encouragement!
Shelly, your portfolio looks really great. I read your story on Hanuman's journey to Sita and I fell in love with your writing. I really like that you have such a fresh take on it, and it kept me very intrigued as a reader. I also really liked your storytelling for week 6 as the previous person has stated. I liked that you made it your own and gave a different point of view on Hanuman. I liked all the thoughts that you portrayed of Hanuman as well, and I think you did a great job. Keep it up!
I love seeing the writing portfolios, because I know what people put in them is usually their best writing! I love the story about Hanuman turning into a cat. I think quite a few people wrote about this, myself included, but each one took such a different way of telling the story. I thought it was funny that Hanuman decided to take a nap! I loved that! I think you did a great job of making this a funny and lighthearted story! My personal favorite was when Hanuman tried to speak back to the man who was yelling at him, and having Hanuman think about why he would be doing that. You did a good job of really bringing Hanuman to life as a cat. Hanuman is one of my favorite characters in the Ramayana, and I loved that you gave him a completely different personality as a cat! I also liked how you told us that Hanuman didn’t really like being a cat and did not want to do it again! So far I think you picked good stories for you portfolio, this is just the one I focused on this time! Keep up the good work!
HI Shelly! I really like all your stories! I think my favorite is Hanuman the Cat just because I enjoyed Hanuman's character in the Ramayana. I thought it was clever that you turned it into Hanuman's inner cat thoughts. It was very descriptive and reading it made me feel what Hanuman was really thinking when he was in his cat's transformation. I also enjoyed reading the story of Hanuman's journey to Sita, it was also very detailed. I can tell that you like Hanuman's character as much as I do. He is such a loyal friend to Rama, better than Rama's character in my opinion. I also really like the layout on your blog. It is a nice blue and simple background. I love everything simple because too much is too much sometimes and your font is easy to read. Overall, good job on your story! keep up the good work! Can't wait to read more stories!
I hate when all of your projects are due at once. It just sucks. Hopefully you can do well in all of them and not stress out too hard. I thought that it was fully when you said that a tornado ate your dad’s car! Even though it really is not laughing matter, the way you personified the tornado is funny. They can be so annoying especially here in Oklahoma.
Shelly, I read your Week 6 story about Hanuman and crossing the ocean. I loved your take on it! I have enjoyed fleshing out little parts of the story that I found interesting throughout the weeks, and I like that you did it too. I had a few constructive comments I wanted to make however. For one, I thought you took a lot on for a short story. You did a great job at fleshing out Hanuman’s thoughts at the beginning of the story, but I might recommend stopping the story when Hanuman enters Ravana’s domain. Maybe drop it off with a cliff hanger (Hanuman took a deep breath, rejuvenated himself, and entered the city gates…) etc. It was disappointing to end the story with more like a light synopsis than the great detail you provided at the beginning of the story. I really enjoyed this story though and I can’t wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteShelly, I know I just commented on your comment wall for your week 6 story but I also wanted to thank you for the kind comments you left on my week 6 story, about Hanuman having a romantic love for Sita. I really enjoyed writing that story. When I read Hanuman's reaction to seeing Sita for the first time, I could not just leave it as a love of friendship. I pictured so much more there than that. Anyways, thanks for the kind words and encouragement!
ReplyDeleteShelly, your portfolio looks really great. I read your story on Hanuman's journey to Sita and I fell in love with your writing. I really like that you have such a fresh take on it, and it kept me very intrigued as a reader. I also really liked your storytelling for week 6 as the previous person has stated. I liked that you made it your own and gave a different point of view on Hanuman. I liked all the thoughts that you portrayed of Hanuman as well, and I think you did a great job. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteI love seeing the writing portfolios, because I know what people put in them is usually their best writing! I love the story about Hanuman turning into a cat. I think quite a few people wrote about this, myself included, but each one took such a different way of telling the story. I thought it was funny that Hanuman decided to take a nap! I loved that! I think you did a great job of making this a funny and lighthearted story! My personal favorite was when Hanuman tried to speak back to the man who was yelling at him, and having Hanuman think about why he would be doing that. You did a good job of really bringing Hanuman to life as a cat. Hanuman is one of my favorite characters in the Ramayana, and I loved that you gave him a completely different personality as a cat! I also liked how you told us that Hanuman didn’t really like being a cat and did not want to do it again! So far I think you picked good stories for you portfolio, this is just the one I focused on this time! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHI Shelly! I really like all your stories! I think my favorite is Hanuman the Cat just because I enjoyed Hanuman's character in the Ramayana. I thought it was clever that you turned it into Hanuman's inner cat thoughts. It was very descriptive and reading it made me feel what Hanuman was really thinking when he was in his cat's transformation. I also enjoyed reading the story of Hanuman's journey to Sita, it was also very detailed. I can tell that you like Hanuman's character as much as I do. He is such a loyal friend to Rama, better than Rama's character in my opinion. I also really like the layout on your blog. It is a nice blue and simple background. I love everything simple because too much is too much sometimes and your font is easy to read. Overall, good job on your story! keep up the good work! Can't wait to read more stories!
ReplyDeleteI hate when all of your projects are due at once. It just sucks. Hopefully you can do well in all of them and not stress out too hard. I thought that it was fully when you said that a tornado ate your dad’s car! Even though it really is not laughing matter, the way you personified the tornado is funny. They can be so annoying especially here in Oklahoma.
ReplyDelete